Shame & Self-esteem | Lydia Charak Psychotherapy - Toronto, ON Canada

Shame & Self-Esteem Therapy

Everything has to be just so. Your artwork is never quite ready or good enough to display or those extra 10 lbs. you put on are making you embarrassed and you don't want to be seen. Perfectionism keeps you striving to prove yourself, but you never quite get there.

Without knowing why you feel this way, you're blindsided by shame. It washes over you; you want to save face, disappear and hide. Withdrawing, you silence yourself and keep secrets.

When you're in the midst of shame It feels like everyone is looking at you. Your mouth gets dry, time slows down and your heart races.

Being a people pleaser, you have a hard time saying no to others when you'd rather not. You believe you're being helpful and kind but you're getting taken advantage of more and more and your resentment is building.
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Denying your feelings to others or hiding when you are hurt keeps your relationships secure to you. You don't want to rock the boat.

You thrive on compliments and praise to validate you because deep down you don’t believe in yourself. You crave the positive attention and chase after it.

Your anxiety and depression make you hear that inner voice telling you that you’re stuck and that you’re a loser. To distance yourself from those feelings you've been getting angry at others and shifting the spotlight away for yourself.

Criticism from others makes you get defensive and lash out. It’s painful to believe that you are not good enough or smart or funny or creative enough.

The list is endless when you swim in shame. It chews away at any self-confidence you may have and destroys your desire to move ahead.
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How I work with shame & self-esteem

I utilize Talk Therapy, Compassionate Inquiry and the Expressive Arts when I work with shame, embarrassment and self-esteem in therapy. Recognizing and identifying these feelings is a first step in helping you manage and ultimately transforming painful sensations of shame.

I also encourage
mindful practices of non-judgement and a process of stepping back to simply observe your thoughts and feelings. This reduces the self-judgement that goes hand-in-hand with shame and poor self-esteem.

It's
normal to try to hide from these difficult emotions but processing them in meaningful ways, either verbally or through art making, can help you reevaluate and redefine how you see yourself. You'll learn to see that you deserve compassion.

We bring shame out of its hiding place and
air it out.

Shame is the intense feeling that you ARE bad or wrong. It can help keep us in line with our vales but can become a huge obstacle in our lives if left untreated. You feel like you’re never good enough, totally worthless and you hear that voice in your head telling you that you suck.

Guilt on the other hand is what we feel when you’ve
DONE something bad and it can be a deserved but helpful and useful feeling.

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Click on the following links for more information on:
trauma, addictions, nightmares, anxiety, depression, grief and legacy.
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Treating shame & self-esteem in Toronto

If this all sounds too familiar it’s time to reach out for help. I can help you unearth the basis to your shame and find your way out of it.

Together we’ll discover who you were always meant to be by
finding your authentic voice and your inherent value.

I will hear you and support you in
dissolving the shame you’ve been carrying around with you. You DO have value and worth.

Please book a consultation. This way we can get to know each other a little bit and make sure we are a good fit for each other. I look forward to hearing from you.